As anyone who has been attuned to the news lately will know, the Germanwings plane crash in the French Alps has been making headlines for awhile. And what's the flight crash getting blamed on? Depression. There are statements that the co-pilot, Andreas Lubitz, was being treated for depression, and as recently as the day of the crash, had received a doctor's note stating that he was unfit for work.
It's hard to tell right now what is actually the truth. Over the past few years, mental health issues have been blamed for many catastrophes around the world... when in reality, people who struggle with mental illnesses really aren't -- in general -- extremely violent or hazardous people to be around. But according to some research done by the American Psychological Association, "In a study of crimes committed by people with serious mental disorders, only 7.5 percent were directly related to symptoms of mental illness" (p. 1, APA, 2014).
As an advocate for social justice, of course I want to know what the causes are for such horrible events and heinous crimes as the ones we've seen -- from the cop-killing and following hunt for Erin Frein that lasted for more than 7 weeks in Pennsylvania, to the reason(s) regarding why the Sandy Hook shootings happened, to the horrendous ISIS beheadings... the list could go on and on.
But at the same time, as an advocate for those who can't advocate for themselves... I don't want the media -- or the general public -- to settle for the easiest answer.
Andreas Lubitz may have had severe depression. But even if he did, the fact that he saw fit to kill himself and 149 other people cannot be generalized out to all people who have suffered with severe, debilitating depression. Depression does not equal homicidal ideation. Suicidal ideation? Yes. But even someone who is in the deepest, darkest, most hopeless place that a human can be does not justify killing 149 people along with him or her. Suicide is something that is usually carried out in private, if it occurs due to depression and not another reason (or co-occurring reason).
Do I know Andreas Lubitz? No. Had I even heard of him prior to the Germanwings flight crash? No.
But I do know depression. I know what it can drive a person to do... but I also know what depression does not cause.
I don't pretend to know what Lubitz struggled with. I don't pretend to know him or his life. But as a shout-out to all of those people who have lived (and died) with depression... I want to apologize. Apologize that the media is basically saying that people with depression can be homicidal, can be mass murderers. Apologize that the media is further stigmatizing people with mental illnesses. Apologize that depression is now being turned into this monster of an illness that can be linked to sociopathic tendencies.
Don't get me wrong. I know depression can be a monster of an illness. I know it can make you feel like you're worth less than a pile of dog crap. I know it can make you feel like death is the only way that you can relieve the pain you are in -- and that you feel like you are a burden to all those you are around. I know this, and more.
But what I'm getting at, I suppose, in a long-winded and round-about way, is that depression does not equal sociopathy.
Andreas Lubitz may have been suicidal. But his being suicidal is not the only reason that he decided what he did was an "okay" thing to do. Again, I am not a doctor, I never knew Lubitz... but this scares me regarding how this will impact people who suffer with mental illness. People already shy away from going for psychiatric evals even when they are suffering inordinately -- because of the stigma. If something as common here in the States as depression is becomes a synonym for sociopathy -- that concerns me. As a professional but also as a human being.
I hope that this has given you something to think about, even if I wrote it in a round-about, rather useless way (it's late and I'm tired, but I wanted to write this before I forgot my thoughts on the matter). I may come back tomorrow and revise this, depending on if I manage to find a better way to express my thoughts.
Hugs to those who are suffering in silence tonight...
~Addison.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
What's in a name? (Part I)
So recently, I have been toying around with the concept of renaming myself. I don't feel as though my birth name really fits who I am (and there are more reasons for that than I am going to go into in this blog entry)... it's not a bad name, and I don't hate it -- but it's just not me.
I've been thinking about it, though. What's in a name? why does it feel so important to me to change my name? I talked with my husband about this the other day -- he's known how I feel about my given name for some time now, but that was really the first time I seriously brought up the idea of actually changing it. Granted, I won't be going through the steps to change it legally for some time yet, but I feel like that will be happening at some point.
My husband has Asperger's, which I believe I've mentioned before. The reason I'm mentioning it now is because of his response to me wanting to change my name (both first and middle). He doesn't understand the way I feel about names -- how they have to fit you as a person. To him, a name is (let me see if I can remember his exact wording...) -- "a name is just a jumble of letters that are assigned to you at birth."
However, I feel differently about that than he does (obviously). I'll give an example that holds true to me. If I were planning on adopting a new pet -- whether it's a snake, a hamster, a cat, a dog, or a bird -- I couldn't say to my husband, "Okay, no matter what species of pet we're getting, if it's a girl we're naming it Becky and if it's a boy we're naming it George." (My animals are my children, and human names are just fine for animals as far as I'm concerned.)
It doesn't work that way for me. Becky may not fit a female Pomeranian mix, but it may fit a Maine Coone cat. George may not fit a cockatiel, but it might fit an English bulldog. Or none of them may fit any animal I adopt!! My furbaby, Daniel, was not named until I could come up with a name that both my husband and I agreed upon -- and Daniel fits him very, very well.
But this whole "fitting" thing is very ephemeral... not concrete at all. So you concrete thinkers out there probably won't understand -- and that's okay!! I'm not upset at my husband for not getting it -- but I am glad to know that I'm not the only person out there who feels like names have to fit.
When I was younger (between ages 7 and 14 I think, especially), I could literally spend hours browsing the two baby name books that my parents owned. I loved looking up names -- reading their meanings, how to pronounce them (if the pronunciation was not immediately obvious), their origins, etc.
My current first and middle names are very feminine (at least, in my opinion!) and according to Baby Name Wizard, my first name was the most popular in the 1970s and my middle name was most popular in the 1980s. That makes sense, since I was born in the 1980s. However, I've only know of two other people with my first name -- one, I just heard of during my internship, and I have never met her (but she's older than I am). The other, I grew up seeing in 4-H, but I don't know her well enough to ask her if she shares the frustrations that I feel about my first name.
What I'm really interested in, however, is the "science" that goes behind what makes a name sound good. Addison Reese, for example, sounds good in my head. But Reese Addison doesn't sound half as good -- to me at least. However, my current first name is one syllable, and my middle name is 3 syllables... so clearly, for some names, it works to have a short name as the first name and then a longer middle name. But what is it about Addison Reese that sounds better to me than Reese Addison? I really don't know. I attempted to do some research on the "science" of naming, but sadly, Google did not really provide me with anything terribly useful.
(Although this article was fairly interesting -- about how girls with names that are considered "feminine" tend not to go into the more "masculine" careers in math/science. I kinda wish there were an easy way to calculate "how feminine" a name is... but that would totally depend on what sorts of people you're talking to, I suppose.
Additionally, this article goes into the different name "revolutions" that have occurred over the past 135 years or so -- how in 1880, ten names [George, Mary, William, etc.] accounted for 20% of all American babies... whereas now those same 10 names account for only 2% of all American babies.)
To be continued!!~
I've been thinking about it, though. What's in a name? why does it feel so important to me to change my name? I talked with my husband about this the other day -- he's known how I feel about my given name for some time now, but that was really the first time I seriously brought up the idea of actually changing it. Granted, I won't be going through the steps to change it legally for some time yet, but I feel like that will be happening at some point.
My husband has Asperger's, which I believe I've mentioned before. The reason I'm mentioning it now is because of his response to me wanting to change my name (both first and middle). He doesn't understand the way I feel about names -- how they have to fit you as a person. To him, a name is (let me see if I can remember his exact wording...) -- "a name is just a jumble of letters that are assigned to you at birth."
However, I feel differently about that than he does (obviously). I'll give an example that holds true to me. If I were planning on adopting a new pet -- whether it's a snake, a hamster, a cat, a dog, or a bird -- I couldn't say to my husband, "Okay, no matter what species of pet we're getting, if it's a girl we're naming it Becky and if it's a boy we're naming it George." (My animals are my children, and human names are just fine for animals as far as I'm concerned.)
It doesn't work that way for me. Becky may not fit a female Pomeranian mix, but it may fit a Maine Coone cat. George may not fit a cockatiel, but it might fit an English bulldog. Or none of them may fit any animal I adopt!! My furbaby, Daniel, was not named until I could come up with a name that both my husband and I agreed upon -- and Daniel fits him very, very well.
But this whole "fitting" thing is very ephemeral... not concrete at all. So you concrete thinkers out there probably won't understand -- and that's okay!! I'm not upset at my husband for not getting it -- but I am glad to know that I'm not the only person out there who feels like names have to fit.
When I was younger (between ages 7 and 14 I think, especially), I could literally spend hours browsing the two baby name books that my parents owned. I loved looking up names -- reading their meanings, how to pronounce them (if the pronunciation was not immediately obvious), their origins, etc.
My current first and middle names are very feminine (at least, in my opinion!) and according to Baby Name Wizard, my first name was the most popular in the 1970s and my middle name was most popular in the 1980s. That makes sense, since I was born in the 1980s. However, I've only know of two other people with my first name -- one, I just heard of during my internship, and I have never met her (but she's older than I am). The other, I grew up seeing in 4-H, but I don't know her well enough to ask her if she shares the frustrations that I feel about my first name.
What I'm really interested in, however, is the "science" that goes behind what makes a name sound good. Addison Reese, for example, sounds good in my head. But Reese Addison doesn't sound half as good -- to me at least. However, my current first name is one syllable, and my middle name is 3 syllables... so clearly, for some names, it works to have a short name as the first name and then a longer middle name. But what is it about Addison Reese that sounds better to me than Reese Addison? I really don't know. I attempted to do some research on the "science" of naming, but sadly, Google did not really provide me with anything terribly useful.
(Although this article was fairly interesting -- about how girls with names that are considered "feminine" tend not to go into the more "masculine" careers in math/science. I kinda wish there were an easy way to calculate "how feminine" a name is... but that would totally depend on what sorts of people you're talking to, I suppose.
Additionally, this article goes into the different name "revolutions" that have occurred over the past 135 years or so -- how in 1880, ten names [George, Mary, William, etc.] accounted for 20% of all American babies... whereas now those same 10 names account for only 2% of all American babies.)
To be continued!!~
Friday, March 27, 2015
Sensory adventures...
Since mid-September last year, I have been working as an intern with a mobile therapist and behavioral specialist, focused on helping children and youth who have emotional/behavioral problems/disorders. Since I'm a Master's level intern (and because my field instructor now knows me, after working with me for 3-4 days/week for the past 6 months), my field instructor encourages me to get involved with the clients and their families.
In the first picture, there are four different sensory things pictured. The first is the blanket on which the various toys are sitting. It's extremely soft. I love velvety soft blankets. If I wrap myself in one (which I actually have done the entire time I've been writing this blog entry!), it's soothing.
I really like Mikey. I liked him in Monsters, Inc., and I like him now. He's made of soft, pliable rubber, and is filled with tiny plastic beads. It's fun to squish him -- I guess think of him as a specialized stress ball. (Specialized because first off, this is not something I would give a kid with sensory issues -- not just because the tiny beads inside might feel unpleasant, but because it looks like a toy... because it IS a toy!... and while it may help as a stress ball, it could easily become a distraction in a classroom setting (which is usually where I've seen kids be given a stress ball or, in the case of ADHD, something to fiddle with).
Poor Mikey, getting his face squished. But as you can see... nice and squishy.
I've taken more than one picture of Mikey because he's got a lot to offer in terms of sensory. Not only is he squishable (when you squeeze hard, various parts of the toy balloon out), but his legs (and arms) are stretchy and fun to fiddle with.
A lot of the clients we see have struggles with various sensory signals. This is very common in children on the autism spectrum (which from here on out I am going to refer to as ASD -- autism spectrum disorder). I'm also somewhat familiar with it on a personal level, because my husband has Asperger's (which I shall refer to as AS -- Asperger's Syndrome -- although technically it no longer exists as a separate diagnosis in the DSM-5).
But what does that mean? to "have struggles with various sensory signals"?
Kinda sounds like a lot of mumbo-jumbo, doesn't it? But it really can be boiled down to something very simple to explain -- and very challenging and frustrating for parents and children to have to figure out.
The way we receive sensory signals helps us know how to react to the world around us. If I trip and fall on a hard floor and skin my knee, it's going to hurt. As an adult, I could react in any number of ways. Sometimes when I accidentally get hurt, I'll mutter something under my breath (growl, grumble, or expletive). Other times, if the pain is severe enough, I'll just stay in whatever position I may be in, allowing myself to catch my breath and hoping that the pain will ease before I have to move. Children will react differently -- screaming, crying, etc.
But if the sensory signal of "floor meets knee" doesn't actually get to the brain, then the child will feel little to no pain. He (or she) will just get up off the floor. That doesn't mean that the injury caused no pain to the body -- but it does mean that the pain that s/he actually felt is much, much less than someone who receives the full sensory signal of "floor meets knee." Obviously this can be a huge problem. Children who feel no pain could easily hurt themselves a great deal (whether on purpose or by accident) and not even notice (e.g., to the point that broken bones can go unnoticed by the child). Additionally, if a parent is trying to find out what is wrong with a child, if his or her behavior is off, it may be fruitless to ask the child, because s/he will have no sense of any pain in his/her body -- even if his/her actions say differently. (E.g., a child could have a very severe ear infection, but merely say "my head hurts a little" because that is the only pain s/he feels -- and then end up temporarily losing hearing in one or both ears because the infection is so bad.)
Another example of sensory signals being different is with clothing/fabric. Most of us don't even think about getting dressed in the morning. We just do it. But for children (and adults) who have sensory struggles with clothing, the cotton t-shirts that I think are pretty comfortable can actually feel very scratchy and sometimes even painful to children/adults who are more sensitive to fabric/textures. Because of this, children will often strip off all of their clothing (or just the offensive garment), which -- as can be imagined! -- leaves parents frustrated and embarrassed.
A third example of sensory signals differing between individuals is noise. I love having music playing, and if it is absolutely silent for any length of time, I begin to get irritated and need to have some noise, whether it's my husband talking to me, a podcast playing, or music going. As soon as there's music playing, I become less irritated/annoyed/grumpy. Because of this, wherever I am -- especially if I'm alone -- I will have music on. The radio in the car. Spotify or YouTube or iTunes on my computer. The radio in the bedroom.
But my husband has sensory difficulties that are opposite of mine -- he cannot stand too much noise. Both of our computers are in the same room -- the den -- in our apartment, and the den is quite small. Sometimes, if I've been sitting at my computer typing and listening to music for a time, he will have to take a "sensory break" because the noise I'm creating is too much for him (especially if he's been out and about all day, in classes, where students/professors are talking constantly). (Note: I don't play my music particularly loud, either.) He will go to the bedroom (which is at the opposite end of the apartment from the den), turn off the radio, and read his textbooks for awhile -- or sometimes he will just lie there and enjoy the silence.
There are too many other examples of struggles with sensory difficulties for me to cover them all -- but really, anything that we perceive with any of our five senses can be a problem for kids and adults with ASD (or alternatively, sensory processing disorder -- SPD**). Textures of food/drink, scents, anything you can touch (toys, fabric/clothing, carpet/tile, books), noises (sensitivity to noise is fairly common), etc., can all cause problems for kids/adults who don't process them in a "normal"* way.
I just got back from a random shopping trip, to pick up a few things to "help me survive" the last few weeks of grad school. I'm going to post some pictures of what I got and how my purchases help me in a sensory way.
And this is Randall, also from Monsters Inc. I apologize about this picture -- it's not really a very good one (I really just wanted him to smile at the camera... *grin*). Randall is different from Mikey in that he's long and thin, and much, much stretchier. I would've taken a photo of that if I had three hands (two to stretch him, one to use the camera!). He's also a lot more squirmy -- the way he's shaped, he'll flop and twitch depending on how you turn him in your hands. He is also filled with the same beads that Mikey is filled with, but he's much longer and thinner, so he's obviously not as squishy (but more stretchy!).
And I also neglected to say that in the first picture, the fourth sensory was the stuffed zebra, Stella. She's soft, but in a different way than the blanket is, and she's squishable, but not like Mikey or Randall. She's just your average stuffed animal, but there are some kids out there who would love her but not like the feel of the rubber used to create Mikey/Randall. Alternatively, there are also kids out there who would hate how Stella feels, but would love Mikey and/or Randall. And there are kids who wouldn't like any of them!
For me, having various sensory things to fiddle with helps me relax when I'm stressed and ground myself when I'm feeling spacey. The blanket is soothing; Mikey and Randall are small and easy to carry with me, whether I'm working with kids or just want to have something squishy/stretchy to fiddle with; Stella is good for grounding and that is what I have used her for the most.
I hope this was at least a somewhat interesting look at various sensory things... doubtless in a few years, when I have more experience working with ASD, I will come back to this post and think to myself, "Geez, what a newbie I was back then."
Cheers!~
Addison.
* I hate the word "normal," because there really isn't such a thing as normal. We are all human, we all have more similarities than differences... but there isn't this magical Leave It To Beaver normality for anyone.
** For some good info on SPD, here's a link to the SPD Foundation.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Coping with nightmares.
It is now 3am, and I have been awake for half an hour. To be perfectly honest -- I don't mind being awake in the middle of the night, on the condition that I have absolutely nothing to do during the following day. However, that condition is rarely the case -- and sometimes, even when it is, I know that being awake from now until bedtime tonight will make me really over-the-top exhausted, so I'll most likely try to get some sleep once I feel relaxed enough to do so.
Why am I up this early?
I have nightmares regularly, and sometimes they're bad enough to make me need to get up, distract myself, reorient myself to place/time/the fact that I'm okay, etc. (although what causes them to be bad enough on the "nightmare spectrum" seems not really be "sensible" since some of my scariest nightmares are not one that cause me to have to get up).
If I wake up in a panic, but can calm myself down in 2-3 minutes and turn over and go back to sleep, then that's fine. But if I wake up, and am lying there, in the dark, feeling wide awake, anxious, and scared, then I get up.
What do I do when I wake up, though? Isn't the computer something that people generally advise you to avoid if you're trying to get back to sleepyland?
Well, generally the computer is my go-to soothing tool. I have Spotify, and although during the day I listen to an eclectic mixture of Scadawegian rock, classical, acoustic, and other genres, the two artists I always listen to when I need to feel soothed are either Yiruma (calming piano) or Enya (new age but very peaceful).
Another thing that works well for me, when I'm struggling with anxiety -- whether it's in the evening, in the wee hours of the morning, or during broad daylight -- is typing. It generally helps me get rid of some of the nervous anxiety/tension in my body; I'm not really sure why this is the case (I'm guessing because I type fast and maybe some of the sensory stuff about typing too -- fingers hitting the keys, the clattering noise...? is soothing and grounding), but it's something that works and I'm glad that it does. I usually always have something to write -- generally a journal entry or some posts on forums where I am a member -- and by the time I'm done with that, then I'm sleepy enough to go to bed.
While yes, there are things I avoid doing on the computer in the middle of the night -- at least, if I'm planning on going back to sleep -- such as gaming or getting really involved in anything that involves creative thought processes (e.g., writing fiction, poetry; listening to the music tracks I've recently recorded to see what I can learn from them, etc.) -- the computer/Internet also offers a multitude of soothing things to do.
Some of my absolute favorite sites for when I need to just do some self-care and soothing:
This is a "room" where you can go, type out your innermost thoughts, worries, struggles -- no one can see it except you. There is soothing instrumental music playing in the background, and as you type, your words disappear into shooting stars. Sometimes this is not the best thing to do in the middle of the night as sometimes you can uncover "stuff" that you were not aware was bothering you -- but in times of high stress, it has been invaluable for me to go there and just type madly before I go to bed... I tell myself, "Okay, so there's some new material that has come up -- things I didn't realize I was worried about or something like that -- but I'll deal with that in the morning. Right now it's just important to feel like I've gotten the uckies out and can sleep."
This site is a place where you can go and make "sand creations." It's soothing for me, but I can also see why it wouldn't be the best thing for a super creative person to do in the middle of the night (or even right before bed) since it might be too much fun. The point of the site is to be able to layer "sand" -- in various colors and thicknesses of layers -- to make original creations. It also has a (soothing to me) noise of sand falling as you layer the virtual sand in your creation.
This is one of my very most favorite sites. I am not very good at all at meditating, but for a time, a few months back, I was doing either the 2-minute-long or 5-minute-long guided meditations on this site prior to going to bed. That, combined with The Thoughts Room, composed my sleep hygiene routine for awhile when I was really struggling with sleeping at night. There are longer guided meditations there too -- I believe for ten minutes and twenty minutes -- and if you don't need or want guided meditations, you can do any length of time of meditation just with the background music playing, and as an "alarm," the woman's voice that narrates the guided meditations will speak in the non-guided meditation portions a few seconds (I believe) before the meditation time is up that you have chosen.
(Note -- the latter two sites I posted are also available as apps for iPhones, I believe -- I am not a Smartphone user so I just utilize the websites, but for some of you, the apps may be handier.)
Generally, by the time I've done a combination of the above websites, possibly plus typing out a journal entry or something similar, then I'm ready for bed. For example, right now, I think I'm ready to go try and get some more sleep. I've been up for an hour, which is usually the longest I try to let myself stay up in the middle of the night...
Here's hoping for peaceful sleep the rest of the night!
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| From cutecatcoverage.com |
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Why social work?
Why did I choose social work? Why didn't I get my Master's (or PsyD or PhD) in psychology or any of the other bazillion tracks that could have all led me to roughly the same place?
I guess this question kind of ties back into the name of this blog. Social work happened accidentally. I knew I wanted to help people -- I knew that when I was 19 and transferred majors from biology to psychology in undergrad. Back then, social work wasn't even on my radar. I knew nothing about social work, except that usually the psychology professors and the social work professors at my university were at odds. They liked each other (for the most part) but there was always kind of a contentious battle going on about which discipline was "better." In undergrad, mentally I voted for psychology.
But then I got a little older. And then I took two years off from school and worked some (pro tip: a Bachelor's in psychology really doesn't get you much of anywhere). And then I heard about the Master's program in social work that was being done through a fairly prestigious university, held at my undergrad campus. I thought about it. Thought about how the therapists I've known throughout the years have all been social workers. Thought about how to really get a job in psychology, you have to get your PsyD or your PhD. Thought about how much time, effort, and money was going to go into grad school. And then decided to go to the information session for this MSW program.
Well, that really kind of clinched the deal. Of course the information sessions are meant to make the program sound good -- but I was excited. I can't remember what all was talked about, but I do remember that there were a lot of prospective students there. The head of the social work department from the main campus was also there, as were several different professors. Various things were discussed, from what the program would be comprised of, to financial aid, to when classes would start and what the curriculum would look like. And really -- how could I refuse to get my MSW when the classes would be held literally a five minute drive away from where I lived, on a campus that I knew like the back of my hand?
I submitted my application including an essay about why I felt I deserved to get student loans in February 2012 (I hate writing those types of essays! "I'm a wonderful candidate to take your money and use it for getting my education because blah blah blah... and then after I graduate I'll be paying you over $40,000 more back than I actually ever borrowed but I don't care because I'm going to be saving the world"). In May 2012, I got my acceptance letter for the fall 2012 semester, as well as notification of a one-time, $7500 scholarship to help pay for tuition my first semester, thanks to my (okayish?) GPA in undergrad. I was so excited -- in the two years off from school, I'd missed the learning environment, I'd missed the challenge of getting good grades, and I'd missed the camaraderie that I'd felt in undergrad with students in the same classes.
Over the course of the past 3 years, I've learned that me getting my MSW really didn't happen by accident. I know that not everyone reading this is Christian, and that's fine -- but to me, it was a God-thing. To you, it may just be luck. Either way, I love the fact that social work has a Code of Ethics, as implemented by the National Association of Social Workers (NASW). I love that we as social workers are held to this standard. Sure, not every MSW, LMSW, LCSW, LICSW, etc., really is super ethical... and there are a lot of bad therapists out there... but the Code of Ethics really makes sense to me. It mirrors my own personal and religious values, and that, to me, is more important than any title or fancy job I could have gotten if I'd gone after my PsyD or PhD in psychology.
Random fact of the day: NASW is celebrating its 60th anniversary this year. If you're interested, here is the Code of Ethics, first written in 1960. At that time, it only had 14 responsibilities for social workers. It was revised in 1967, 1979, 1990, 1993, 1996, 1999, and finally, the most recent changes were made in 2008. (FYI: the 2008 revision incorporated gender identity, sexual orientation, and immigration status in the Code's existing non-discrimination standards. [Information from History of the NASW Code of Ethics, socialworkers.org]).
Oh, and now? Now, I realize that both psychology and social work are valuable. Without psychology, there would be huge gaps in social workers' knowledge (and of course, there would be other sad things as well, such as not being able to poke fun at how "weird" psychologists are... it's true! they are weird -- but so am I, which is why we get along *grins*). But without social work's devotion to bettering people's lives -- and without the Code to help guide that process -- there would be many fewer people in this world being given the help and resources that they need.
Cheers!!~
Addison.
I guess this question kind of ties back into the name of this blog. Social work happened accidentally. I knew I wanted to help people -- I knew that when I was 19 and transferred majors from biology to psychology in undergrad. Back then, social work wasn't even on my radar. I knew nothing about social work, except that usually the psychology professors and the social work professors at my university were at odds. They liked each other (for the most part) but there was always kind of a contentious battle going on about which discipline was "better." In undergrad, mentally I voted for psychology.
But then I got a little older. And then I took two years off from school and worked some (pro tip: a Bachelor's in psychology really doesn't get you much of anywhere). And then I heard about the Master's program in social work that was being done through a fairly prestigious university, held at my undergrad campus. I thought about it. Thought about how the therapists I've known throughout the years have all been social workers. Thought about how to really get a job in psychology, you have to get your PsyD or your PhD. Thought about how much time, effort, and money was going to go into grad school. And then decided to go to the information session for this MSW program.
Well, that really kind of clinched the deal. Of course the information sessions are meant to make the program sound good -- but I was excited. I can't remember what all was talked about, but I do remember that there were a lot of prospective students there. The head of the social work department from the main campus was also there, as were several different professors. Various things were discussed, from what the program would be comprised of, to financial aid, to when classes would start and what the curriculum would look like. And really -- how could I refuse to get my MSW when the classes would be held literally a five minute drive away from where I lived, on a campus that I knew like the back of my hand?
I submitted my application including an essay about why I felt I deserved to get student loans in February 2012 (I hate writing those types of essays! "I'm a wonderful candidate to take your money and use it for getting my education because blah blah blah... and then after I graduate I'll be paying you over $40,000 more back than I actually ever borrowed but I don't care because I'm going to be saving the world"). In May 2012, I got my acceptance letter for the fall 2012 semester, as well as notification of a one-time, $7500 scholarship to help pay for tuition my first semester, thanks to my (okayish?) GPA in undergrad. I was so excited -- in the two years off from school, I'd missed the learning environment, I'd missed the challenge of getting good grades, and I'd missed the camaraderie that I'd felt in undergrad with students in the same classes.
Over the course of the past 3 years, I've learned that me getting my MSW really didn't happen by accident. I know that not everyone reading this is Christian, and that's fine -- but to me, it was a God-thing. To you, it may just be luck. Either way, I love the fact that social work has a Code of Ethics, as implemented by the National Association of Social Workers (NASW). I love that we as social workers are held to this standard. Sure, not every MSW, LMSW, LCSW, LICSW, etc., really is super ethical... and there are a lot of bad therapists out there... but the Code of Ethics really makes sense to me. It mirrors my own personal and religious values, and that, to me, is more important than any title or fancy job I could have gotten if I'd gone after my PsyD or PhD in psychology.
Random fact of the day: NASW is celebrating its 60th anniversary this year. If you're interested, here is the Code of Ethics, first written in 1960. At that time, it only had 14 responsibilities for social workers. It was revised in 1967, 1979, 1990, 1993, 1996, 1999, and finally, the most recent changes were made in 2008. (FYI: the 2008 revision incorporated gender identity, sexual orientation, and immigration status in the Code's existing non-discrimination standards. [Information from History of the NASW Code of Ethics, socialworkers.org]).
Oh, and now? Now, I realize that both psychology and social work are valuable. Without psychology, there would be huge gaps in social workers' knowledge (and of course, there would be other sad things as well, such as not being able to poke fun at how "weird" psychologists are... it's true! they are weird -- but so am I, which is why we get along *grins*). But without social work's devotion to bettering people's lives -- and without the Code to help guide that process -- there would be many fewer people in this world being given the help and resources that they need.
Cheers!!~
Addison.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Self Care? What's that?
Self-care... what an important topic for not just social workers or people in the field of human services, but for everyone with any sort of stressful life (which probably encompasses at least 99% of the world's population...).
According to Dale (2008), "'Students studying social work need to develop an understanding of their own physical, psychological, and nutritional needs and be prepared for the realities of the workplace,' said Lopez. 'Additionally, social workers now in the field need to develop skills to use in the moment - not just look to holidays or vacations as time to practice self care'" (from the article The Profession Must Prioritize Self-Care, by M. Dale, 2008, retrieved from NASW News, NASW.org).
During my undergrad years, I didn't think I deserved self-care, although admittedly, it was not stressed as being important in my major (psychology). I'm not entirely sure if I really even was aware that the phrase "self-care" existed then... and if I did, I probably didn't care.
During the two intermediate years -- time after graduating with my Bachelor's in psychology but prior to enrolling to get my Master's -- I didn't really think a whole lot about self-care. I was doing it, but not really consciously.
However, over the past three years of being in grad school, it's come to take on a new meaning for me -- especially since last fall, when I started interning with an actual social work agency. (My foundation internship, done in the second year of my grad program, was less demanding by far, and I was also shadowing a RN, not a LSW.) Now, to me, self-care is not just coming home and changing from my "professional clothes" to sweats and a t-shirt -- it also incorporates special activities such as making myself a chocolate peanut butter mug cake, cuddling with my furbaby, and having a regular sleep regimen.
But self-care isn't just done at home on the off days, when I'm not out in the field or in the classroom. It's also done during classes (why do you think I spent an extra dollar to get a special chai rather than just drinking water?) -- and it's done in the field. Stressful day? Spend some time joking with my field instructor. Stop for to grab something for lunch, even if I have an Ensure Plus stashed away in my purse, because sometimes a hot lunch is just what I need when it's been a day full of fairly intense therapy sessions.
I know I've written a lot about food being self-care -- for me, it can be. I'm not a comfort eater, but food can provide comfort -- if that makes sense? I don't overeat, even on holidays -- not because I'm "too good for that" or any such nonsense, but because I know that being overly full makes me anxious. If I can eat enough to be healthy but not so much that I inordinately cause myself to become anxious, then that's where I prefer to be.
However, I know food can pose problems to many people, and indeed, in the past, it would have for me as well. This is where the importance of having non-food-related self-care skills comes in.
Some of the self-care that I do that is not related to food may seem simple to some people.
As aforementioned, I have a regular sleep schedule, and I stick to it 99% of the time. Generally, I go to bed by 9pm (or a little before if I'm really tired), and depending on the morning, I'm up between 5-6:30am. I don't have any really ritualized sleep hygiene things to do, but I make sure I avoid being involved in anything that's very lively/stimulating, either physically or mentally, in the half hour preceding bedtime. This includes writing. No writing of anything serious in nature right before bed ("serious in nature" = anything school-related [unless I'm rushing a deadline], anything very deeply personal or creative, etc.).
I also try to make time for some cuddles with my cat before bed. I make time every day to read at least a little bit. I listen to music -- what genre of music it is depends on my mood and also, what I'm doing. I play video games and interact with my online friends.
Things I would like to add to my self-care skill set --
1) Having friends in the area with whom I can go out for coffee sometimes.
2) Making time to do something creative every day (writing poetry or fiction; playing my instruments; sketching).
3) Being able to bake more (and not just microwave cake!!).
4) Getting involved in some form of dancing -- preferably expressive dance.
What are some self-care things you do now? what are some you would like to try?
And here is a picture of the very first mug cake I made, just last week. Please don't drool all over it.
According to Dale (2008), "'Students studying social work need to develop an understanding of their own physical, psychological, and nutritional needs and be prepared for the realities of the workplace,' said Lopez. 'Additionally, social workers now in the field need to develop skills to use in the moment - not just look to holidays or vacations as time to practice self care'" (from the article The Profession Must Prioritize Self-Care, by M. Dale, 2008, retrieved from NASW News, NASW.org).
During my undergrad years, I didn't think I deserved self-care, although admittedly, it was not stressed as being important in my major (psychology). I'm not entirely sure if I really even was aware that the phrase "self-care" existed then... and if I did, I probably didn't care.
During the two intermediate years -- time after graduating with my Bachelor's in psychology but prior to enrolling to get my Master's -- I didn't really think a whole lot about self-care. I was doing it, but not really consciously.
However, over the past three years of being in grad school, it's come to take on a new meaning for me -- especially since last fall, when I started interning with an actual social work agency. (My foundation internship, done in the second year of my grad program, was less demanding by far, and I was also shadowing a RN, not a LSW.) Now, to me, self-care is not just coming home and changing from my "professional clothes" to sweats and a t-shirt -- it also incorporates special activities such as making myself a chocolate peanut butter mug cake, cuddling with my furbaby, and having a regular sleep regimen.
But self-care isn't just done at home on the off days, when I'm not out in the field or in the classroom. It's also done during classes (why do you think I spent an extra dollar to get a special chai rather than just drinking water?) -- and it's done in the field. Stressful day? Spend some time joking with my field instructor. Stop for to grab something for lunch, even if I have an Ensure Plus stashed away in my purse, because sometimes a hot lunch is just what I need when it's been a day full of fairly intense therapy sessions.
I know I've written a lot about food being self-care -- for me, it can be. I'm not a comfort eater, but food can provide comfort -- if that makes sense? I don't overeat, even on holidays -- not because I'm "too good for that" or any such nonsense, but because I know that being overly full makes me anxious. If I can eat enough to be healthy but not so much that I inordinately cause myself to become anxious, then that's where I prefer to be.
However, I know food can pose problems to many people, and indeed, in the past, it would have for me as well. This is where the importance of having non-food-related self-care skills comes in.
Some of the self-care that I do that is not related to food may seem simple to some people.
As aforementioned, I have a regular sleep schedule, and I stick to it 99% of the time. Generally, I go to bed by 9pm (or a little before if I'm really tired), and depending on the morning, I'm up between 5-6:30am. I don't have any really ritualized sleep hygiene things to do, but I make sure I avoid being involved in anything that's very lively/stimulating, either physically or mentally, in the half hour preceding bedtime. This includes writing. No writing of anything serious in nature right before bed ("serious in nature" = anything school-related [unless I'm rushing a deadline], anything very deeply personal or creative, etc.).
I also try to make time for some cuddles with my cat before bed. I make time every day to read at least a little bit. I listen to music -- what genre of music it is depends on my mood and also, what I'm doing. I play video games and interact with my online friends.
Things I would like to add to my self-care skill set --
1) Having friends in the area with whom I can go out for coffee sometimes.
2) Making time to do something creative every day (writing poetry or fiction; playing my instruments; sketching).
3) Being able to bake more (and not just microwave cake!!).
4) Getting involved in some form of dancing -- preferably expressive dance.
What are some self-care things you do now? what are some you would like to try?
And here is a picture of the very first mug cake I made, just last week. Please don't drool all over it.
Chocolate peanut butter mug cake
- 3 T. flour (unbleached white flour is what I use)
- 2 T. sugar (I imagine any sweetener would be okay though)
- 1 1/2 t. cocoa powder (I've used both regular and dark -- prefer the dark!)
- 1/4 t. baking powder
- 3 T. milk (I've added a little more since just 3 T. can leave the batter a little too thick)
- 2 T. vegetable oil
- 1 T. peanut butter (I prefer creamy)
- 6-8 chocolate chips (optional -- to sprinkle on top for extra chocolatey noms)
Whisk dry ingredients together, in the mug of your choice, until uniform. Add wet ingredients. Stir until the batter resembles cake batter (i.e., runny enough that it'll drip off the mixing utensil). Put in the microwave for 1 min 10 seconds... and ta-daa, your mug cake is done!!
Friday, March 20, 2015
You're probably wondering...
..."What's up with this 'accidental social worker' thing?"
Well, yes. I would wonder that, too, if I were in your shoes! But the truth is -- unlike many of my family members, I didn't know what I wanted to do from a very young age. I had no idea. As is common with children, I vacillated between wanting to be an author, a ballerina, a veterinarian, an orthodontist...
(Okay, so maybe most kids aren't interested in orthodontics. Hey, I was -- and am! -- a little quirky.)
But then... life happened. And the life I was given taught me many things, both good and bad.
It taught me that life isn't fair... that even the most well-meaning people can't magically fix some problems... that there is a depth of emotional pain that many people cannot even fathom.
But it also taught me that I am a survivor... that I am never alone because my God is always with me... that I can use my experiences to help others heal.
It taught me that there are people who care, even if they can't "fix" the problem.
It taught me that sometimes, feeling cared about matters more than having your problems fixed.
It taught me that people often underestimate how resilient human beings are.
And above all else, it taught me that I can use the knowledge I've gained both through personal experience and through "book learning" to help other wounded people heal -- and that the fact that I am now less than two months away from graduating with my Master's in social work is a total "God-thing."
Five years ago, I never would have imagined being where I am now. Five years ago, I was almost done with my undergraduate degree (psychology, counseling track), and I was extremely depressed.
Five years ago, I probably would've told you that I would be dead by my 25th birthday. Since I'll be turning 27 this year, I think it's very safe to say that I was wrong!
Five years ago, I probably would've told you, "I'll never amount to anything." And what's worse -- I would've believed it.
But five years is enough time for a lot of things to change. And change they have. My expectations of myself have changed. My thoughts about what the statement "I'll never amount to anything" have changed. After all -- what defines us? Is it material goods? money? what kind of house we live in? the cars we drive? the grades we get in school? the public recognition we receive?...
...Or is it our God-given talents and abilities?
I'm not really sure if I answered the question about the title of my blog, but I'm sure it'll become more clear to you -- and me! -- as time passes. Accidents are not always bad. Just because five years ago I never would have imagined myself almost being done with getting my Master's doesn't mean that this is not where I was intended to be. I just kind of detoured a bit -- rarely does life go in a straight line -- but that's okay. It just means that learning and growing will be continually occurring.
"The day you stop learning is the day you stop living." -- Unknown (attributed to many).
"The day you stop learning is the day you stop living." -- Unknown (attributed to many).
Cheers!~
Addison.
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