Living authentically (pt 1).

This is my place to be real.  Actually, it's my job to be real.  And it's something I want to cultivate in my personal life as well.  As a teenager and young adult, I wore so many masks.  Masks so people would think I was okay and not hurting.  Masks so people would look at me and think I had it all together when really, inside, I was falling apart.  Masks that removed me from connection to any community because I felt like I wasn't good enough, so maybe if I looked or acted aloof people wouldn't try to care about me.

I'm done with that now.  Now that I'm in my late 20s, done with school, working, I finally am beginning to understand the importance of being genuine.  Of being my authentic self -- whatever that may be, wherever that may be, and with whomever that may be.  Of course -- I don't mean that in honoring my authenticity I'll ignore social norms.  What I do mean is: no more masks.

Sometimes, I'll need to compartmentalize.  For example, if I'm at a conference for work and I get triggered, of course I can't go around telling everyone that I'm triggered.  I also shouldn't try to "cope" with triggers in the past by self-harming, even if it's something that most people would overlook, like digging my nails into my skin.  Social workers -- in general -- are folks who are nothing if not observant.

But compartmentalizing and reminding myself that although I may be triggered at that moment, I have to hold it together -- to me, that's a little different from wearing a mask.  I suppose others could argue it's the same since I am wearing the "mask" of "I'm okay."  But the difference would be that if someone came up to me and asked me, "Are you okay?" I would probably not immediately blurt out, "Yes of course I'm okay!" -- but nor would I immediately blurt out all of my problems and then some.

This authentic life is something that is not a new concept to me -- but it's a new concept I'm beginning to embrace.  So far, these are the statements that I've noticed I live by (or want to live by):

1. I am where I am in my life, and that's okay.
2. I am going to keep moving forward, keep growing, keep learning, and that's okay.
3. Things don't always work out.  I'll feel disappointed, angry, maybe depressed.  And that's okay.
4. I can deal with triggers now.  I don't feel as though I need attention from anyone to deal with them; in fact, I want the opposite.  I cope better if I feel like people -- especially from work -- aren't watching me.
5. Uncomfortable feelings happen.  They just do.  It's a part of life -- an uncomfortable, icky part, but a part that passes in time.
6. I can sit with my feelings -- if that's what I feel like I need to do -- or I can use movement to get my feelings to move through me.
7. There's no need to feel self-conscious.  Okay, so what if other people look at me funny for skipping down a sidewalk, for playing catch in a park with my husband, for singing at full volume in the car with my earbuds in?  They don't know me, and if they judge me as being "weird" or "strange" -- then that's their loss.  I'm not the most awesome person ever, but I think I'm okayish, and if people determine they don't want to know me just because I'm quirky, then that's their loss.
8. If I'm upset by feeling judged, time to revisit points #5 and #6.
9. Life is what you make of it.  It's weird, wacky, awesome, crazy, scary, fun, terrifying, anxiety-provoking, and a whole slew of other adjectives that I could type but don't have at my fingertips right now.  Embrace it.  Embrace all of it.  Even the not-so-fun parts.  Even the parts that make you want to squirm out of your skin.  Why?  Because you'll grow from it.  From all of it.  From the joy, the sadness, the pain, the frustration, the love, the angst, the sorrow, the happiness, the busyness.......... on and on.
10. I am who I am, and as long as I keep an open mind and remain curious, I am okay with myself.

What would you add to a list of statements/tenets that you are living by (or wish to live by)?