24 days... but who's counting?

In just 24 days, I will be done with classes.  It's hard to keep everything in perspective at this point in my education; I know that I'm not alone in feeling extremely stressed.  Everyone in my cohort is feeling the tension of the final few weeks of school.  Of course, it doesn't help that this semester, 90% of the assignments for both of the classes we have this semester are due in the next 3 weeks.

24 days, though.  Just 24 days.  I can do this.  But then I look beyond being done with classes... beyond seeing what grades I get this semester and what my final GPA is for grad school... beyond the stress of graduation... and I realize that I really do not feel ready to face the Real World as a Real Adult with a Real Job.

It's kind of a terrifying prospect.

I've been in higher ed for the past 11 years -- well, 9 years if you don't count the two years I took off from school between graduating with my Bachelor's and starting my Master's.  But seriously -- even 9 years of higher ed... that's a lot.

Friends of mine have said that the transition from being a student to being a Real Adult is difficult.  However, I hope it won't be as difficult for me as it could have been.  The only actual change that will occur is that instead of taking classes, I'll be working.  I already am married, have lived in an apartment and have had to deal with "Adult Things" -- such as paying rent, paying bills, servicing my car, scheduling doctor's appointments, etc. -- ever since I got married in 2008.

Still, it's going to be a tough transition.  I don't do well with change, usually, and I absolutely hate being "new" at anything.  Although I've been interning for the past 6 months at the agency that will (hopefully) be hiring me, I still haven't had the full responsibilities that a therapist there has.  I feel like I've gotten a very good sense of what a job as a mobile therapist/behavioral specialist consultant (MT/BSC) is like, but there are still things I'll need to learn how to do.  And some of those things -- such as writing a treatment plan for a new client -- I will only learn by doing them myself, rather than watching someone else do them.

24 days.  576 hours.  34,500 minutes.  2,070,000 seconds.

But who's counting?

From galleryhip.com

It's so hard to be patient sometimes, isn't it?  Especially when it feels like the old adage is true: that the grass really is greener on the other side.

But the fact is -- it's still going to be life.  "Well, duh, of course it is," you say.  Wait a moment... let me explain what I mean.

The two changes that will be the most significant for me will be the fact that first, I will be working (and will have a degree that actually means something!).  And second, I will be earning money.

But those things don't really change the fact that it'll still be life, with its ups and downs and good parts and bad parts.

It also doesn't really change the fact that I am who I am, that I'll still be the me I've always been.

Sometimes it feels like people try to hide behind their degrees, the letters after their last name, their titles.  In 24 days I will be still be Addison, but I'll be Addison X., MSW.  And hopefully in a few months, I'll be Addison X., LMSW.  And then in another few years, hopefully I'll be Addison X., LCSW.

But I'll still be me.  Now, or 24 days from now, or 24 years from now.

Learning doesn't end when school does.

From quotesdump.com

In fact, I hope I never stop learning.  As cheesy as it sounds, I do believe that the day we stop learning is the day we die.  We may not be physically dead... but when we stop learning, a part of us dies.

I hope I will be continuously curious about life.  I hope I will always want to learn more, more, more.  I hope that my thirst for knowledge will never be quenched.

I can tell you right now that I am 95% sure that for the first year post-grad school, I'm not going to miss school at all.  But after that first year... yeah.  There's going to be that longing to be back in the classroom.

Maybe that's when I'll see about teaching as an adjunct.  Who knows what the future will bring?

24 days...

Remembering how to breathe,
~ Addison.