Denial.

Denial is a common phenomenon among people with problems.

In fact, I don't think I even really need to put that specifier there.  People, in general, are wonderfully adept at denying what they don't want to believe.  And truly, denial can make life a hell of a lot easier sometimes -- for a time, at least -- especially if no one challenges your denial.

I've noticed in talking with various people, that denial comes up a long when discussing dissociative identity disorder (DID) -- formerly known as multiple personality disorder.

Not only is there denial in the professional community that DID exists, but people who have DID often spiral into denial, where they don't believe that they could've been abused to the extent that they needed to learn to dissociate to the point of developing alters (alters = "alternate personalities").

It saddens me, as a soon-to-be Master's level social worker, that there are people out there -- professionals, such as psychiatrists and therapists -- who still don't believe that DID is a valid diagnosis.  What holds them back from believing it?  Is it because they don't want to believe that people are capable of such atrocious acts of abuse that would cause children (sometimes as young as two or three) to need to learn to dissociate?  Or is it a catch-22 -- that because they haven't seen anyone with DID in however many years of practice, that they believe it doesn't exist?

From wikipedia.com

I know that people with DID (who call themselves "multiples" -- harking back to the prior diagnosis of multiple personality disorder) wish that DID weren't real, too.  Not only would it make their lives easier, but it would mean that severely abusive people don't exist.

But even if professionals deny it, the fact is -- DID exists.  And sadistic people, who get pleasure from abusing children in any (and every) manner possible, exist.

How can I say this with such certainty?

Because I know multiples.  I have several friends who are multiples, and honestly... think about it.  What would anyone gain by making up this diagnosis, by saying they have it when they don't?  It's not a diagnosis that you parade around out in front of people.  It's nothing that anyone is proud of.  Multiples are chameleons, because they've learned to be.  It's safer that way for them.  If you can learn to blend into any environment, then you'll be safer -- from having your "secret" (that of having DID) discovered.

Admitting that you have DID can be shaming.  When I look at my multiple friends, I see nothing but strength, perseverance, and the resiliency of the human spirit.  But other people may not share my views.  Being an adult survivor of childhood abuse is not easy to admit to, and in a sense, too, it can make you vulnerable in the here and now.

But at the same time, being able to recognize what you've survived, that you're still alive today despite of the horrors that you went through in years past -- that's remarkable.  Again, it highlights the resilience that we as humans entail.  And the fact that DID develops due to childhood abuse -- that tells us that children are far more resilient than people often think.

From discussingdissociation.com

Dealing with denial can be easier than facing the truth -- no matter what the truth is that you are running from.  Whether it's related to you not wanting to believe there is trauma in your past, or if you don't want to see that your child (or relative) is struggling with substance abuse, or if you don't want to admit that your significant other may be lying to you... no matter what it is -- yes, denial does serve a purpose.

But it's when you decide to stop denying that true growth occurs.  That's when you stand up straight, square your shoulders, and face the problem as best as you can.

"Facing the problem" will look different depending on what the problem is, of course.  But no matter what that will entail, I believe that it is always better to face the problem/issue and the potential consequences, than live in denial.  Denial is easier, for a time... but I constantly denied my feelings, if I constantly denied my experiences and beliefs, then I'm not being true to myself.



Be true to yourself.
Be willing to help yourself.
Stop the denial.
Get outside help, if you need it.

And go out there, conquer your demons... and live your life.

Cheering you on,
~Addison.