The difficulty of transitions.

Today I finished my very last assignment for grad school.

As I sit here and think about it, I really can't believe it's been almost 3 years, exactly, since I heard that I was accepted to grad school.  To people who have been watching me learn and grow throughout the duration of the program, I think it probably does feel -- to them -- like I've been getting my degree forever.  But to me?  It feels like just yesterday that I started classes.

From theprospect.net

And now I'm done.  All that is left is class on Saturday, where two of my classmates will present their ethical dilemmas, and then we as a class will go out to brunch.

And then... on to graduation.

Being done with grad school feels so... final.  When I finished undergrad, I always knew I would be going on to grad school in the near future, so it never really felt like I left academia.  I've grown up in academia.  My dad has his PhD and I grew up at the university where he teaches.  My mom has her Master's, and my sister is graduating this year with her PhD.  In my extended family there are at least twelve people total (not counting my dad or my sister) who at least have their Master's degrees, if not PhDs.

So yes.  It feels weird to know that I am... done with school.  I mean, yes, there are some very unhatched plans so far that I have about getting a second Master's, and I am (very very slightly) tempted to look into the newly developed clinical DSW programs (DSW = Doctorate of Social Work).  But none of those will be happening -- as far as I know -- within the next 10 or even 15 years... whereas when I finished undergrad, I knew I would be going on to grad school within the next 5 years.

Transitions are hard.  I've never really been all that good with change, and this is a pretty huge change, if you ask me.  I'm excited, yes... but I'm also scared.  Scared that I'm not going to be an effective therapist.  Scared that I'm not going to be able to hold down a job.  Scared that I'm not really as awesome as (some) people seem to think I am.

From radiantlifecounseling.com

But it will all be okay.

There will be rough patches, there will be bumps, there will be bruises and tears and frustrations.

...Really, though, that just describes life.  There have been rough patches, bumps, bruises, tears, and frustrations in grad school, too.

I'll just be doing something different.  Something new.

And I'll finally be a Real Adult™ (whatever that is).

Living a Real Life™ (whatever that is).

I need to make a list of things I want to do now that school is over.  There's so much that I kinda just let slide during my years in grad school -- like, hey, what social life, what friends IRL?

I'm going to horribly butcher this quote, but whoever said that endings are really just beginnings is right. (There was more to the quote than that... but that's the part I needed to remember today.)  This is a new beginning, and I'm excited (and scared).

Onward and upward,

Addison.